“My Child Won’t Share Her Toys on Play Dates”: Responding to Challenging Behaviors After a New Sibling is Born

I get so many questions about challenging behaviors – not wanting to share, hitting and kicking, “clingy” behaviors, refusing to listen – that occur in the days, months, and years after a child becomes a big sibling. And while most parents acknowledge that getting a sibling is a big deal, we often don’t realize that our child’s challenging behaviors are connected to this major life shift.

 

In this week’s episode, I answer a listener who wants to know how to help her young daughter, who’s struggling on play dates. She doesn’t want her peers to play with any of her toys, and that often causes friction. I offer thoughts on how to handle these tough moments – and I also offer some perspective and thoughts about how our listener can reconnect with her older daughter.

 

Here’s the thing: Getting a sibling is a really big deal for kids, and it’s a big deal for a lot longer than most of us think it should be a big deal. Many, many times, challenging behaviors are connected to this huge life transition, and we can best support our kids by reconnecting with them and helping them process and regulate the tough emotions that come with being a big sibling.

 

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